Wow, we are in the single digits days until I toe the line (well, I am an average runner so I will be actually be up to a light jog pace by the time I get to the line) in Myrtle Beach! I have many thoughts going through my head and questions, but most of all I have done what I can and I won't know if I can reach my goal of a 3:45 marathon until I get to where the proverbial WALL. At that time I will have ran over 1250 miles and the question is when and then what to do when it does happen. My goals is to feel the wall as I hit the finish line or within 0.2 miles. At that time I will be able to control my CNS (Central Nervice System) and make some crazy thought about running from the tiger they have at the finish line that somehow got loose. That will allow me to chase down people in front of me so I am not eaten. Your mind is in disarray, your body is telling you to slow down or stop, but my mind will be strong. I will wax on and wax off! Whatever it takes!
So I have noticed this week that I am at my breaking point food wise. I have allowed myself dessert a few times, Taco Bell twice but I am trying to stay under 160 for the marathon and eating smarter this week. It has been a mental game. I believe a good LIFE weight for me is 165-170 if and hopefully when I add some bulk back to my upper body (I ain't no wussy just cause I lost weight, I am still strong like bull). Now running wise, 155-160 is ideal so I will probably stay close to that. All that said, I am having extreme desires for food. Taco Bell, Ice Cream, Cinnabon, an entire bag of Peanut M & Ms (The CostCo size or the top shelf one at Target that costs $10, not the Medium bag) and yes, I am a former fat ass because of my love for food. Not beer, not alcohol, food. I didn't over eat constantly but I ate the wrong shit for days on end, then stopped, then weeks on end, then stopped. When my father-in-law died I used that as an excuse to fill my face and since starting this challenge and change of LIFE in March 2012, I have learned a lot about myself and realized I never want to be "THERE" again.
I have decided to live healthy, eat better but also allow myself to indulge a little here and there. I still have not had candy or soda in the 40 days. I have had fast food twice and have only had one beer on a date night with the wife. My biggest issue going forward and one that I need to deal with is the cheap and quick meal of fast food. I have lost my desire for McDonald's, never been a big fan of Burger King, but Taco Bell how I love you and could eat you 3-5x a week.
A few things that have helped this week is knowing each pound will help me for the marathon and wanting to be under 160 for the marathon. Andi has begun eating better again and started to work out on the treadmill which in turn has forced me not to eat poorly this week. I am trying to be supportive and not a pushy ass coach like I am used to being with the wrestlers and football players I have coached. I am letting her choose how she does it and just help however she might want.
I don't know what I am more excited for now? To pig out or to complete a marathon. It's the marathon but damn am I wanting a concoction of calories and fat right now.
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