A weekend of happiness and sadness...

My dad and stepmom came out to Colorado for the first time since my Grandma Ventura's death a couple years back. She died from a sudden stroke and it was determined she would not recover and she pretty much fought for 7 days without food and water. She was one of my favorite people of all times. Her death set off an awful year in my life before my LIFE change. She will forever be loved and missed. She was one of my heroes, a 32-year survivor of breast cancer, hard working, intelligent and a wonderful person that volunteered countless hours. Her and my Grandpa Ventura would watch my brother and I quite a bit. We were very close to them. They were like another set of parents to us. Heck, my grandma taught me math and I attribute my success to some of the pointers she gave me. She loved me more than every grandkid she had I would say. I knew it was a little selfish to say, but her and I had a unique bond and I saw a side of my Grandma no one else could ever imagine.

My dad and I had a tough relationship during that year. I won't rehash the bad, because it isn't worth it. I won't lie either, I was a little nervous but we had finally made peace the last half a year and I was glad he would be able to see Sophie again. I can tell you the timing of his visit was a pure blessing. Less than 8 hours before his departure, my Uncle George called to let me know my Grandpa was in the hospital and things did not look very good. What were the chances my dad would be coming out the weekend my Grandpa got put in the hospital? I am glad it happened that way because early Saturday morning, less than 36 hours after I had heard my Grandpa was put in the hospital he passed away. It was sudden. My grandpa had 5 tumors in his brain that was causing severe pain and pressure on his entire body. These tumors were just found late Thursday night/early Friday morning. I saw my Grandpa Ventura that Friday and it was heartbreaking. He was not the strong, sharp, coherent man that I had always seen him as. The olive skin from his Hispanic blood was replaced by a much more pale look. His breathing was very weak and his thoughts rampant from memories of when my dad and Uncles were kids. All this could probably be attributed to his lungs and body only getting about 60% of the oxygen it needed and the pressure on many parts of his brain. I broke down before we left with my dad's hand on my shoulder. I did not want to see my Grandpa suffer like this. I held his hand. I remember holding my Grandma's hand many times, but it had been since being an early kid that I held my Grandpa's.  His hand was warm and loving, like I always remember him being with my brother and I as we spent so many days with my grandparents growing up. I did not want him to be in pain much longer. That's why when I saw a couple texts from my brother/lifelong best friend Alex and brother-in-law/best friend for over a decade and a missed very early AM phone call from my dad I knew it had happened. I cried very briefly because I wouldn't see him in the flesh and spirit again, but knew he was no longer in pain and was happy.

My Grandpa Ventura had talked about how lonely he was the last six months and you could tell while he wouldn't voice it, he missed my Grandma and was ready to go whenever it may happen. I believe my Grandma fought so hard for so many times and years because she always felt like she needed to be there for my Grandpa. The truth is they needed each other as much as the other. They were married for 67 years!!! They had visited every state in the US together, been to England, Mexico, Panama, etc. and had lived a fuller life than either of them ever expected they would live. He also was one of the most patient men I have ever seen. My Grandma was a strong headed, hard ass that didn't put up with much and let her know how she felt and he dealt with it like no one else. I could take a few pages out of his playbook to deal with a strong woman that I chose to spend my life with as well instead of being strong headed and stubborn back with her. The other great thing is that he also joined my Uncle Mick/Chuck/Charles III in heaven finally. I believe it had been roughly 17 years since he had passed away after he went into coma and went brain dead during an epileptic attack. My Uncle Mick was one of the most happy, go lucky loving men that I can remember as a kid. Even as an early HSer I didn't realize how tough it is to see someone lose a child long before their time. That was the saddest I had seen my Grandparents ever. Now they can smile and share everlasting happiness together.

Normally a death would make a weekend a complete bummer, but to be honest, there are so many more positive memories of my Grandpa in a happier state and of the interactions I saw this weekend that I have so many good memories to draw back of this weekend. My Dad and Susie were able to see their grand daughter and see what an intelligent, fun, loving, enjoyable person she has become. The smiles on their faces and Sophie's face will forever be engrained in my head. Just like they are when Sophie visits with Grandma Angiolillo and especially her Grandma Kunkel. The difference is they are much less with them living in Alaska and the tough last two years, but it was a great visit and we plan on Skype-ing and seeing them via the ever improving technology world.

The best thing I can say is the past year I have learned not to hold grudges, be angry and focus on the negative things in life longer than need be. There is too much beauty. I have missed running the past month, but know I need to be careful with my knee. All I could think about was going for a run Saturday morning thinking how when I run, especially for longer distances, I feel more spiritual and at peace. I have had so many fond memories and thoughts of loved ones that have passed on. I am not sure why, but running really does bring some peace into your life. Maybe I'll just walk a long time to get that feeling.


Though seeing Sophie with my Dad was my greatest memory of the weekend, a close second was this one (and I will end with this). I was walking by the hospital room my Grandpa was in and only my Uncle and Dad were in the room together and I could hear them sharing memories and a few moments with my Grandpa. It was two brothers that have their differences and that lost their big brother over a decade and a half ago putting issues to rest to show their Dad how much they love and appreciate him. They followed that up by discussing talking weekly after not talking more than when my parents came out and they were there together. I hope that is the case, because after seeing what my wife and in-laws have gone through the past year and a half and after having issues with my parents off and on, your family is always there for you even when they maybe shouldn't or when a friend would give up on you, they keep pulling for you and showing their love and bond for you.

I love you Grandpa Ventura, enjoy your eternity in heaven.